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8:34 p.m. - 2008-06-19 So a few months ago I was on a "training course" at work, a two day thing. I was sitting on a table with a guy from my team and a girl I hadn't met before. I got on pretty well with her on the first day, and we had like a running joke going about the idiots on the course. The next day she came in wearing the shortest skirt I've ever seen in my life. I got the hint. I asked her out for a drink after the course. We went, had a good time, and said we'd "do lunch" one day that week. At work the following day I e-mailed her (she works a few levels below me, and the building I work in is enormous, so I wouldn't have been able to find her without her specifying the exact seat) and we arranged to go out for a drink at lunchtime in the next couple of days. I realised then that this was my first 'date' in a long time and that I'd need to prepare for it. I went into Next that lunchtime, with a couple of female colleagues, and got this really nice purple/turquoise pin striped shirt. Reading that back, it sounds disgusting, but trust me, it's great. So great that it cost thirty five pounds, but whatev, at least I'd get a work shirt out of it if everything collapses around me. And collapse it did. So we met for lunch, and she seemed really into me and talkative and so on. I wasn't getting any bad signals whatsoever. Maybe I'm so out of the loop with girls that being touchy-touchy and flirty and flinging your hair around is a sign to back off? Anypoo, thinking it had gone pretty well, I e-mailed her when I got back to my desk thanking her for a nice time and suggested we meet up again. She replied with some lame excuse about never being able to go out at lunch time ever again because of her workload, but to "keep in touch". I was like, wtf? I didn't reply to her message because, seriously, what's the point? I got the point that behind the flowery e-mail the bottom line was "I don't want to see you anymore", I got over it and moved on. I still include her in all the stupid forwards you get at work anyway, if she finds that any consolation. So a few weeks went by and I was down at the canteen getting my salad (I'm one of those strange guys who eat salad every day), and who should I see? And, more to the point, want to take a wild guess as to what shirt I was wearing? Did I mention, by the way, that this shirt has got to be the loudest one like, ever? It's noticeable, trust me. I saw her looking at me, but then she did that whole "pretend she hasn't seen me" thing, which really gets on my tits. Not that I have any. So, I was like, well whatever. I went back to my desk and bitched to my colleagues about how I couldn't believe I was wearing that same shirt again. I got home and vowed to never wear it to work again. A few more weeks drag by and we reach today. I'm deciding what to wear, and I'm like "oh, what the hey, I'll wear the purple shirt". I think you all know what happened next. I was in the lift at lunchtime, and out of the 5,000 people who work in the building, and out of the choice of ten lifts, who should step into mine? It was literally "of all the lifts in all the building, she walked into mine". Luckily for me it was pretty crowded, and I was at the back by the mirror (naturally), but my colleague said she saw me. I just can't believe that every time I've seen her since the date, I've been wearing the same god damn shirt. It's like, if it was a blue one, or a white one, I wouldn't care because you can wear different ties, and nobody notices. But every single fucking time I've seen her since I've been wearing the little S.O.B! What is that about? It's like God is just sitting on his cloud laughing and laughing at my life. So -- things to do when I get paid: 1. Buy some new shirts. It's like, hello. 
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