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1:48 p.m. - 2003-02-15 I still showered, gelled my hair and got dressed, and stood in front of the bathroom mirror, contemplating. I hate going to work. I had reached a breaking point. I just couldn't go. Not today. Maybe I'd quit. Or maybe I wouldn't. But I couldn't go today. Plus I still felt sick. I was well enough to go in, but not 100%. So I ended up calling and making up a story that I was still ill, and may be in later, to buy myself some time. Maybe a couple of days is what I need to think this over. I have to make a decision what to do. I am very, very confused. On the one hand, I feel trapped at this job because I have to pay for my dates, credit cards, eBay, and social stuff. In addition to that, my boss thinks I'm awesome, and my parents couldn't be prouder of me for sticking at the job, despite its low pay and terrible hours. On the other hand, I'm dying inside. I haven't enjoyed it there for weeks. I dread going in. I spend the mornings fantasizing about ways to get out of going to work. When I went to primary school and secondary school, I was the same way. I dreaded going to school. I hate that that's carrying over to my adult life. I don't want to be this way. Any advice would be much appreciated. 
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